The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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