Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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