They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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