Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
