Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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