Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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