Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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