wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
