WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
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and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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