I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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