We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I love having hate sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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