My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
