You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize