It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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