hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My vagina is officially offended.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
