I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
