My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
