I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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