When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
