you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
