He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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