hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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