I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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