I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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