I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
