When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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