so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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