I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
