Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My liver just broke up with me...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
