I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
