C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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