Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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