i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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