They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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