I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
