I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
