my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
