you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
