So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
