stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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