no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I would ride that face into the sunset
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize