i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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