Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
