I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
