Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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