some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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