I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
