I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
