Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny