Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.