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..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
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