I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You're a waste of cheezeits
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea