I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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