how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
