I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
