Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize